My journey began when my Grandmother suffered a heart attack she should have never survived. She could no longer take care of my Grandfather who had been on automatic pilot with dementia for at least six years. I altered my life to move in and become full time caregiver for both of them. This initiated the two-year path to our experience when he decided to exit this earth.
For about a month prior to his ultimate decision, he would see and converse with entities as he walked through the house that were not physically present. Was he conversing with guides trying to show him the way? At that time, in my meditations, I asked for guides to help Grandpa with his fears. The last three days he was with us, he took no food or drink and had no interaction with any of us as he was incoherent. His labored breathing also started at this time.
On the last day, the nurses from Hospice were coming to give him a sponge bath. Before they arrived, I sat with him for about an hour in a deep meditation. Because of his struggle to continue breathing, I internally communicated: “Grandpa…let me breathe for you and you concentrate on what you need to do.” During the previous 6 hours, he had been continually reaching upward toward the sky even though he was asleep. I felt he was reaching for the guides I had summoned, but could he have been reaching for his wife of 66 years to come along with him? “Grandpa, do not worry…I will be here with Grandma.”
After about an hour of deep meditation at his bedside, the Hospice nurses arrived. As one of them reached for his hand, she felt no pulse although he was still breathing. At that point, I took the last few breaths with him and let him go. The other nurse then confirmed his death.
While the nurses began the preparation to ready him for the funeral home, I initiated another deep meditation where I was able to see Grandpa immediately and he appeared to be a lot younger with curly hair and a moustache. I was suddenly able to communicate with him on a level that had not been available to us for many years. He showed me a place of warm humming light. Not a bright light, but just a soothing, buzzing, warm light. I was able to see Grandpa standing on some steps with no surrounding structure or boundaries and he was with his mother, brother, and brother-in-law. They all laughed and smiled and waved at me from the steps. This was not a three dimensional plane and my perception of it was that everything was recognizable, but nothing was distinct…as if everything was one.
In another meditation later that day, I sat in Grandpa’s kitchen chair and felt his energy. In this vision he took me for a ride on a golden boat. Grandpa was aware of my slight animosity toward Grandma, who had always controlled everything in his life. I had long wondered how he adjusted to that dynamic for so many years as I know it was something I was unable to accomplish myself. On this ride where Grandma was driving the golden boat and Grandpa was water skiing behind where he was trying to get her attention as always – having fun and faking his familiar off-balance stunts on the skis. His message to me was that he had worked hard to provide a good life for Grandma and sought her attention, be it good, bad, or indifferent. His point being that he liked Grandma driving the boat throughout his life and that was ebb and flow of their 66 years together.
Meditation number three with Grandpa provided an experience that went past the steps described in the earlier meditation. It was the same warm, buzzing light with an essence of a great cathedral, but without walls or a ceiling…just expansiveness! There were a lot of entities present. Some I recognized and some I did not. Grandpa made it clear to me that I could visit this place any time I wanted to, but that I should not spend all of my time there. I should return to earth and remember why I chose to be there in the first place, which I still have yet to remember. But it’s the journey or the experience that’s important, not the destination!
The next experience with Grandpa came as I sat in the chair where he always watched TV. I was spending extra time with Grandma viewing the Olympics in an attempt to alleviate some of her loneliness. I felt the presence of his energy as if he were there watching figure skating with us. In his usual positive manner, he complimented the skaters, their pretty outfits, and the performances. It was just like ‘business as usual’.
In my next vision with Grandpa, I went back to his TV chair where I was alone in the dark and the quiet. I tried to connect with his energy again, but was unable to return to that dimension for a while. He finally made his presence felt and reminded me once more “not to spend all of my time in this place,” and that he had just blocked me to prove his point. He then allowed me to feel the warmth, peace, and restfulness that he was experiencing and told me he was no longer fearful of the dark (which had become an issue as his dementia progressed) because he was now bathed in eternal light. Again he urged me to “return and finish my incarnated journey on earth”.